Loving you was never really hard
by Miss. Crawford
Summary: Bobby Mercer and Crystal have been intimate since the day they met. More like lovers than anything Crystal comes back for Bobby's mother's funeral. When she does, feelings start to arise, and her feelings aren't only for Bobby but for Jack as well...
1. The beginning of thier past

She was looking at what had been Evelyn Mercer's house. It was a well respected place. It had been built with only love and it would remain there for the love of people who needed it and wanted it. She stood on the sidewalk, out front another house and looked at the people file into the Mercer house. She saw Jerry get out of the car and walk in with his wife. Then came Jack and Bobby. She saw them all; and when Jack saw her, he hit Bobby on the arm and they walked over to where she stood looking at the house.

"Crystal!" Cried Bobby as he came next to her and embraced a huge. She hugged him and shut her eyes tight, taking his deep scent. "Bobby…" She whispered and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Their hug had been a few moments but they had felt each other; shivers had gone through their bodies. Bobby had buried his head in her neck and hair taking everything back that had once been his. Her skin was still light and golden, and her hair was still the sweet vanilla.

Bobby had been the same, still the sweet, hard man to her. He was just as she thought he would be, and when she had hugged him she had put her head on his shoulder and lightly taken him in. Bobby smiled at her, a genuine smile and then moved back to let his little brother through.

When she saw Jack her lips parted and for a moment, her eyes shimmered. He came up to her and hugged her. She put her arm's tightly around little Cracker Jack and whispered in his ear, "Can I still call you that? Cracker Jack?"

As they hugged he nudged her and heard him say, "Not a chance in hell Crystal…" She smiled and let him go after she kissed him on the cheek.

"You came for mama's funeral, then?" Bobby asked as they started walking towards the house. "Yeah…I'm so sorry boys."

"Who are you calling boys?" Bobby asked and smiled when they started laughing. "True, Jack still needs a few years."

Jack pursed his lips at Bobby who smiled at him as Jack said, "She's the same age as I am. And you, your only four years older than both of us."

Crystal smiled, it was the same brothers. Bobby and Jack had always been her favorites, always would be. Then the memories came back and everything started filling in again.

"It looks…the same." Crystal whispered at the house and went into the back with them. Jack smiled and nodded solemnly, "Yeah…yeah it does."

Cop Green was reading files off to his partner, Fowler, as they were at the office. Fowler wanted to know the blonde girl, the new girl.

"She isn't new, Fowler. She's an old friend…she's a friend of the Mercer's. You could say she's one of them…"

Green trialed off looking thoughtful as he watched her. "Little, Crystal Carrington. It's nice to have the girl back here."

"Why do you keep calling her girl-" Fowler asked but Green went on.

"C, or Crystal was always known for being the girl next door. She was the fifth person to be in the Mercer's house the longest. Mrs. Evelyn almost adopted her but the neighbors had wanted a kid. She had grown up with those boys. She had cared about them more than anything else. But only with Jerry and Angel was she a sister to. Bobby was different…"

Crystal spaced off as they were sitting in the living room, all of the thoughts came into her mind. One's that she swore she'd never remember…

"Bobby." She whispered touching his face lightly as she ruffled his hair with her hand. He was laying on her, in her bedroom and when she said his name he brought his head back up. It was earlier in the morning when they had awoke and recalled the night before. "Crystal…" He murmured as his lips lightly touched her cheek and he kissed her. "Bobby, you'd better go…if we get caught-" She started but he kissed her again and she slid her hand over his biceps as he moved her head slightly to the left and kissed her neck. Crystal shut her eyes momentarily and then whispered again, "We have to get dressed, if we don't-" But he ignored her and looked into her eyes, "One more time." A smile slid over her face. She ran her fingers through his hair again and kissed him.

A sudden burst of someone, saying something, made her come back and she looked around, bewildered.

"Crystal!" Jerry said as he came through the doorway. "Jerry!" She said as she got up and gave him a hug. "I've missed you, girl. Where you been?" Jerry asked as they sat down momentarily. "Oh, you know, doing things…" Crystal said in a whisper. "Anyway," She said quickly, "What is new with you?"

"Well, I have a family, and a home, two daughters-" He was going to say more but he knew Crystal. "No shit! You have a home! You have a family…you've been fucking' busy, haven't you?" An amused look came over her face as she said it.

Meeting Angel was the same, he walked through the door and picked her up only to twirl her around a few times and say, "Girl!"

She gave an innocent smile and asked him how he had been hanging everything up in his life and he only answered, "You have to do some fucking hard things in the Marines…you'd never guess it, but there are girls." He winked at her as then she smiled politely and got up and went up the stairs.

"Crystal." Called Bobby from the hallway as she landed on the platform. She turned to him and gave a small smile. "Come here…" He took her hand and led her to his old room. Shutting the door behind him Bobby turned back to her. "How you've been chickadee?"

She took a breath and said, "Good…fine. You know why I have come back, don't you?" She asked. He looked up at her, seriously from the bed, where he sat.

"Not for me." He said plainly and looked into her eyes, he was bringing back memories-too many. As Bobby sat on the bed he thought about their last meeting and what happened and what they established.

FLASH BACK

"Bobby, your leaving, aren't you?" The younger Crystal whispered to him as he held her. "Yeah, yeah I am."

"What about us, what about everything?" She asked, turned to face him, both knowing what the other would say. "Crystal, you know it's never going to work. You don't love me and I can't love you. The only reason we-" He started but she cut him off.

"We wanted it. We don't even love each other." She whispered looking down, she was ashamed of herself and of him. They had been sinful, very stupid people. They were too young and they didn't even love each other. Did they even know what love was?

Coming back too she looked into Bobby's eyes who was still sitting on the bed. Walking over she sat next to him and took his hand. "Why did we do that?" Crystal whispered to him as he turned his head to face her. "I don't know Crystal…I don't know. We were stupid and we didn't think about really loving a person. It was do and be done with."

Crystal let go of his hand and shrugged as she lay back and look at the ceiling. "You don't love me, do you?" She asked him and he lay back with her and asked the question back to her. At the same moment they both said no. She looked over at him and smiled. "It was...We are grown up now. We don't love each other and that has always been a given but we can't-" Crystal started.

"We can't ever do that again or make love each other when we don't love each other. We were so out of control…" Bobby said.

She got up and slowly walked to the door, "We have bigger problems now. We have to find the killer of your mother-"

"We do…and Crystal," He said as she was about to walk out the door, "none of my brothers know about us back then. And there's nothing now, so, welcome home sister."

"Jackie!" Bobby yelled through the house. Jack appeared around the corner with his skates. "Go find C, would you?"

"Come on…you go find her-" Jack leaned on the wall and shook his head as he turned back around. "Why the hell do I have to look for her…?"

Going up the stairs he heard Bobby yell, "You're finding her cause she's sleeping in your room-" Jack turned and faced the door and yelled back to Bobby, "Why does she want my room?"

"Cause, I put her there. You two are the same age remember?" Bobby taunted back at Jack.

Jack cursed as he knocked on his door to his room. He was quiet as he opened the door and saw Crystal. She had the music on and she smiled at him. "We're playing hockey, aren't we?" She asked as Jack entered the room and shut the door.

He reached over and shut the music off. "Yeah."

Crystal walked up to him and tapped her hockey stick on his shoulder. Jack took it and pulled her closer. She looked into his blue eyes and got lost. He put his head down and when they were inches away he whispered, "I've missed you."

Crystal was about to turn but decided that he would stop and that- Jack stopped and looked into her eyes and pulled back. "You're not going to-" She asked.

"Kiss you?" Jack asked then shook his head with a smile as he laughed at her, "No. I just missed you. You're like a sister…"


	2. Being with you

Seemingly, hockey was always the get-away sport. When you wanted to hurt the boys, you would just ram them into the wall. Jack was skating next to her and suddenly she felt the puck next to her stick and she stopped. Angel went flying in front of her; he had planned on hitting her but she stopped. Then she skated as fast as she could. Feeling a great pain in her shoulder she felt herself fall on the ground and saw Bobby on her. He took a deep breath and went down a little farther but she pushed him off of her and stood. Standing, Crystal grabbed his hand and got him up with her. "You had to hit me, didn't you?" She whispered to him as she grabbed her stick.

"What was your plan?" Angel asked, "Nailing her?"

Crystal gasped and looked at Bobby who had chuckled. Going forward she hit Angel in the arm and when she went past Bobby she pushed him, and he fell to the ice again. He smirked at her then got up and yelled, "Gang on the girl!"

Crystal felt everyone coming on all sides of her and she screamed before the brothers hit her on all sides then, when she fell they jumped on her. "Watch the skates!" Yelled Bobby as they all lay on her. "You feel like a dog that's on the ground now?" Angel said with a smirk.

"I'm going to kill you!" She yelled to Angel and struggled but it was helpless with four brothers on her. She turned and lay on her back as she looked up at Jack who was directly on her. Jack smiled and nodded at her. Crystal's mouth opened and she whispered, "Try it again and I'll fucking-" But Bobby leaned harder on the group and she ran out of breath, "Now, Crystal, don't be bitching when-" He started but she took her stick and hit him on the head.

"What the fuck-" But she pulled up and slipped out of their reach. Sprinting to the other side of the court she hit the wall as someone pushed her into it. She turned and before she fell she saw Jack. "Chick's mine!"

Lending her a hand, Jack pulled her up and smiled at her. "It was either me or Bobby. …He hits a lot harder…"

"Shit, I gotta make a man out of you!" Yelled Bobby with slight anger in his voice.

Growling Jack yelled, "Damn it, Bobby!"

When they got back to the house it was going to be rest and then everything would be put in motion. Going upstairs Crystal sat on the edge of Jack's bed and looked out at the sun. When she heard someone come out of a room she turned to see Bobby shirtless, walking into his room across the hall. Looking left then right she slowly go up and stood in his doorway.

"Can't wait for me, can you?" Bobby asked as he turned and smiled at her. Crystal fought between a smile and a frown then finally did neither. "Sorry, I shouldn't have-" She started but Bobby went past her and shut the door behind her. He looked back at her and they stared for what seemed like an eternity. Her eyes went from his brown gazing eyes to his six pack then over his biceps. Finally, at some point her eyes looked back into his. Bobby was looking at her, his eyes keen on her as she glanced down at his lips which where slightly parted.

"Crystal…if you start this, we won't be able to go back, not this time." Bobby whispered as she took her gaze off his lips. "I know." She murmured and took a step forward, trying to fight herself.

"I don't love you…" Bobby whispered to her, taking her waist in a hand. The other hand went to her hair and ran through it. Crystal felt his breath on her shoulder as he put his head down and put his lips on her and kissed her neck. She put her head lightly on his neck as she took his scent in. Shivers went flying down her spine as he lightly touched her. "Bobby…" Her whole body froze and she knew they shouldn't be this close. Her thought came back as she gasped, "Bobby!"

He slowly took his head away from her neck and looked into her eyes, inches away. "I don't love you either…you and me-stop." Crystal whispered as words came into her head she tried to say them but her mouth wouldn't move. Her head was so clear but her fucking mouth wouldn't move.

Without thinking she slowly ran a hand down his chest, then back up and touched his cheek, moving his face towards. Moving forward, faster than expected, he put her lips in his and she kissed him. She slipped her arms around his neck as he lifted her off the ground and held her in the air as he kissed her. "Bobby." She said, with no meaning and kissed him once more, just to feel his lips on hers.

Her mind triggered and she drew away from. Crystal looked at him for a moment, their faces touching and he felt a tear move from her cheek to his. She leaned against his arms, away from him and desperately searched for an answer.

"We shouldn't have done that…what we you thinking? What was I thinking!" Crystal yelled and put one hand on her head. After a moment Bobby said without hesitation,

"Crystal…I'm so sorry."

"Every time…why can't I love you? I want you but…" She whispered as she went for the door. Taking her waist in his hands Bobby slowly turned her around. "Crystal…I know we'll-"

"Bobby! We just told each other that we'd never do that again. What is wrong with us?" Crystal put her hands on her head and buried her eyes.

She went limp for a second then fought in his hands and pushed his body away as tears went shimmering down her cheeks. Bobby grabbed her back and forced her to look at him, eye to eye.

Crystal was about to fight him but instead she did the opposite. "Bobby," She cried as she put her arms around his shoulders and hugged him, "We shouldn't have done that…were so stupid when we are together."

Bobby hugged her and said, "I know…we just…sometimes you don't think with your mind…sometimes it's something else." He pulled her back and touched her cheek, as she stopped crying. Searching for an answer Bobby said, "Forget it." Lifting her chin up he said in a murmur, "Crystal, you said it yourself, we don't love each other."

Crystal had always thought that when you kissed someone or did something with someone they would stick in your mind forever. Bobby never did. Others did but never Bobby, he would always be there when she didn't want him but seemingly, she always ended up with him. Oddly, Bobby was a lover but not in the way of marriage and such. She trusted him like a brother but when she kissed him he was something else in a different.

Crystal was contemplating everything as she shut Jack's door and took his guitar. Laying, propped up, she started to pick at the strings. Shutting her eyes she played a solemn note. Whispering a song she did a high note and opened her eyes to see the door wide open and all four brothers looking at her.

"Hey, you can play, and sing-" Angel started but Bobby cut him off.

"Do you need an ambulance C?"

Jack growled at Bobby and shut the door when he had gotten in with a punch on his arm. "Thanks!" Jack yelled to Bobby who had hit him, not all that softly.

Jack grabbed a guitar and sat on the bed next to her as they started to strum quietly. For what seemed like hours they played and when her fingers hurt like hell she looked over at Jack who was playing absently as a tear went silently down his cheek. Putting the guitar down and making sure she was in check, she turned and looked at Jack. "Jack…Jackie…" She whispered as she touched his shoulder lightly. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry." Jack looked at her with a slight smile and put his guitar down.

"You knew her as well as we did…I just…I never needed anyone because she was enough." Jack chocked the last part out and she reached over and hugged him. He was going to push her away at first but then took her in his arms and hugged her harder. "I miss her, you know?" He asked her softly as he put an arm around her.

"Do you remember," Crystal whispered as she looked up at him as he looked past her into something else, "the one time we went in the kitchen and we had been making brownies. We thought we'd get yelled at so we hide in the closet. Do you remember how mom found us, cramped next to each other? She had thought we were doing something in there…" Crystal grinned and rested her head on his shoulder then said,

"Evelyn gasped at us and told us we were only 10 so we couldn't be in love with each other. Then when she said that, we burst out laughing, 'cause she thought we were lovers."

Jack's cheeks turned red then he said, "Yeah…yeah, I remember that."

"Or the time when we were both, what, sixteen-" Immediately Jack stopped, how could he have been that stupid? Looking down Crystal whispered, "Bobby had gone and no one else was around."

They looked different ways then finally their eyes met. "It was only a kiss right?" Jack asked, frowning slightly, trying to hide it from her. "Yeah…of course." Crystal said and lay back in the pillows, but she knew better. It had been more than a kiss…more than they would admit. "Jack-" She started but he sat back and said, "There's nothing more to add."

"What the hell is this?" Bobby whispered to Angel and they looked upon the sight.

Angel was lost for words, he was just staring then he started laughing. It was so ironic. They were together...

"Looks like little Jackie-" Angel started but Bobby whispered to him, "Shut your mouth or else he'll wake up!"

They all turned back to the two on the bed as they all started laughed. Crystal was lying on one side of the bed and Jack was asleep on the other. Jack was lying on his back but he had one arm out and touching Crystal's hip. Crystal was lying on her side towards Jack and they were both fully dressed but the sheets were a good mess. Slowly Jack started to awake and when he saw his brothers he got up, slowly and tiredly shut the door in their face. On the other side you could hear Bobby and Angel yelling,

"Are you grown yet?" It was Angel, thinking he was smart and funny.

"How the hell did that happen, Jackie?" Bobby wasn't joking and he really wanted to know what the hell had happened. Crystal had been involved…

Jack shrugged and flopped back on the bed as Crystal awoke. "Jack…" She whispered sleepily and put her face in the pillow.

Jack laid on his back and looked at the ceiling and said, "How did that happen?"

"How did _what_ happen?" Crystal whispered through the pillow. When it was quiet she looked up from her pillow and stared at him. Jack was watching her and she shrugged him off. "Get off it. We didn't do anything, _obviously_, and they're just your brothers."

He smiled and grabbed a cigarette out of his pocket. "Oh Jack, don't you dare!" Crystal yelled and got up in an instant.

"You have no authority over me right now. This is my room-" He started and pushed her away.

"I'm-the-well-respected-guest!" Crystal yelled as she hit him on the arm each time.

Jack moved up and frowned at her, "Come on C-" He started but she jumped on him and grabbed it from his mouth and threw it in the garbage. "Shit! That can start a fire!" He yelled as he tried to get up but she had him pinned as she looked down at him. "Now _Jack_, NO SMOKING! Got that!" He smirked at her and pushed her off the bed and she hit the floor with a thud. Crystal looked up at him and gasped. Crystal reached for him but Jack had run to the door.

Sprinting out of the room, Jack leapt down the stairs and into the living room where his brothers were. Crystal tore through the room and flew down the stairs, right on his ass. Tearing through the house she slipped around the corner and tripped over a foot and hit Bobby who was laying on the couch. Flying on his lap she lay on him and he put her arms around her, yelling he told Jack, "I got her Jackie, get out the punishment."

Crystal turned and looked at Bobby who was smirking as he held her tightly in his arms. "Let go!" She yelled to Bobby as she saw Jack come slowly around the corner. "Now, Crystal, what were we saying about kicking ass?" He asked as he pulled out a sock.

Gasping she put her head into Bobby's neck. "Don't…dare…gross…fucking men…not funny…" She was whispering things but she had shoved her whole body into Bobby's and refused to look up.

"Now, Jackie, do you think she likes to eat socks?" Bobby said as he pried her away from him and shoved her down on the couch. Angel started laughing as he covered her eyes and Bobby held her down. "Jerry!" She yelled but Bobby held her mouth shut with his hand. "Jack!" He yelled and when Jack came back with sweatier dirty laundry.

Stuffing someone's sock in her mouth Crystal screamed, or tired to. Bobby held her by her shoulders and pinned her hard to the couch. Feeling over come with men and defeat she thrashed harder. Finally when all seemed hopeless Bobby let her go.

"I think she thought that was fun!" Bobby said as Crystal ran to the safety of the stairs, spitting on her shirt.

"You shit faced fuck!" She screamed at them all as a chorus of laughter surfaced through the room.

Shaking her head so violently her neck snapped she ran back up the stairs. Slamming the door to Jack's bedroom she could still hear their laughter from far below.


End file.
